Patient Inquiry Line
1-800-HOLD-4EVR
Average wait time: 4 hours. 87% of calls are disconnected before being answered. The remaining 13% are transferred to a fax machine from 2003. The fax machine does not know you called.
Office Hours
Monday–Friday: Closed for Training
Weekends: Closed
Federal Holidays: Closed
Bridge Days: Closed
Days Ending in 'Y': Closed for Morale Building
Note: "Open" status does not guarantee staff presence, phone pickup, or any form of acknowledgment that you arrived.
Email Us
This inbox is checked quarterly, conditionally. Responses are auto-deleted by our spam filter, which classifies veteran inquiries as spam. For urgent matters, please send a carrier pigeon. The pigeon will be placed on hold.
Submit an Inquiry (Into the Void)
Track Your Inquiry
> PERRY POINT VA INQUIRY TRACKING SYSTEM v2.1
> Connecting to database...
> Connection established.
> Searching records...
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> STATUS: Received
> PROCESSING STAGE: Initial Review
> ASSIGNED TO: [DEPT NOT FOUND]
> LAST ACTION: None
> NEXT ACTION: None Scheduled
> EST. RESOLUTION: Q3 2027 (Tentative)
> LAST UPDATED: Never
──────────────────────────────
> NOTE: This inquiry has been automatically flagged as LOW PRIORITY. All inquiries are flagged as LOW PRIORITY. This is not a reflection of your inquiry's urgency. It is a reflection of our priorities, which do not include your inquiry.